This is the key point, imo, and something that OP seems to get really stuck on.
If reaching level 100 is not the goal, why are you measuring your progress by your exp bar?
There are plenty of other ways to measure progress in ARPGs. Content completed, currency earned, loot found. You claim that you don’t care about leveling up, but then bitch so much about how penalizing the time loss is. So obviously you do care. Pick one.
What about everything else that happened during that period you were playing between deaths? You’re ignoring the loot you found, the content you’ve played, etc., and only focusing on one way to measure ‘progress.’ In all of those other ways, you haven’t lost any time at all. You’ve still made currency, are closer to getting better gear, have been running enjoyable content (or, if not, that’s a separate problem, throwing time away doing things you don’t enjoy for some reason). But when you choose to only focus on exp loss, you’re the one making yourself miserable. Not the penalty. Not the game. If you really don’t care about hitting level 100, then stop measuring your progress only by xp.