so im watchin this guide and he got boneclamor barbute with curse spell dmg on it but helms cant roll it? how do you get it then
Yes they can.
but i literally havent seen any helm with this mod is it exceptionally rare or what?
Volca just made the exact same item on stream. 
But yeah, LE tools shows it’s very rare with 89% reroll chance.
how am suppose to even get this mod t5 i dont have even single shard of this mod
You can choose the class shards blessing, should help a little. But it will take a while for you to farm them anyway. Try to switch the blessing and then farm affix echoes. And make sure your filter shows/highlights them.
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That’s normal with very rare affixes. There are multiple affixes for helmet like that. They are about as rare as +X to skill.
i have bunch of different to skill shards for acolyte and zero curse damage shard so no they are definitely not nearly as rare
When things are rare with a low chance of happening their distribution becomes relatively spikey. You could see this with the +skills shards you have, if they’re the same rarity then you’d expect similar amounts of each, but you probably have more of some skills than others.
so im level 86 i have looted every helm there is on the ground and i have never seen this affix yet seriously where do you get this affix? from specific location or what? i have like 100+ shards of different acolyte skills but 0 spell curse dmg shard
You don’t need to look at every helm. Just set a rule to highlight that affix. You don’t even need to specify that it’s a helmet, since affixes themselves are slot agnostic.
I usually have a rule just for shattering, which highlights the rarer affixes.
Anyway, there are over 200 class specific affixes that count as rare. Even if things are slightly weighed for your class, that’s still a lot of RNG to go through. I’ve been in your situation where I needed a specific affix (though in my case it was to be able to chaos it out) and I wouldn’t expect you to get it in a day or two.
Just keep making better helmets without that affix. You’ll need more than 1 shard for your final helmet anyway.